The Narcissistic Discard was a blessing in disguise. You’re probably reading this and wondering, how’s that then? Give me a few minutes, and I’ll explain.
I realised there’s not really enough content out there covering this specific part of the narcissist’s reign of destruction. Yet, it’s the most devastating part.
By the time you finish reading this, you will see the discard from a completely different perspective than you currently do. You will see it as the biggest blessing the narcissist (unknowingly) could give you. You will realise that the trash actually took itself out, saving you all the hassle.
Is The Discard For Real?
I also need you to know that narcissists never ever really discard anyone. Why? Because they never let go, they don’t know how to. The discard is FAKE, just like the narcissist’s persona. It’s a facade for another ploy to emotionally exploit you. Even if you don’t hear from them again, they always come around to regretting their actions. Some don’t return due to shame, or their greatest fear, rejection. That’s a good thing, because it’s really in your best interests if they don’t return.
If you’re currently going through being discarded by the narcissist, I understand that no matter what, initially it hurts. I’m not going to downplay it or invalidate your feelings. It does hurt. You feel confused, misunderstood and you question what you might have done wrong.
The Discard Always Comes With No Closure
In most instances, the narcissist leaves you with absolutely no closure (their specialty). One minute you think it’s all good and the next, poof, they disappear without a trace! After the love bombing, breadcrumbing and invalidating, you’re left picking up the pieces of what’s left of your already broken self.
The reason they give you no closure is because they want to leave the door open, even if it’s a small crack. As long as they have left you in the lurch, just know they are planning on showing up again at some point with some dreary excuse, sob story (or even worse, memory loss) as to why they disappeared (don’t fall for it).
The Discard Is Strategic
Narcissists know exactly what they’re doing. When they discard you, and throw you away as if you never mattered to them, it’s all done very strategically. These are the usual reasons why narcissists discard, and here are the usual suspects.
It was in the plan right from the start. The narcissist knew they were going to discard you from the moment you met. Remember, there is no such thing as longevity with a narcissist. The discard was inevitable.
You are too strong for them. Narcissists like supply that will submit to them. They do not want you to come up against them in anyway. One of their worst fears is coming into the awareness of who you really are. If you want them to run in the other direction, do this.
You unmasked them, and boldly exposed them for who they really are. Narcissists survive by creating this egotistical false self. If you unmask them and expose them for being such things as a liar or cheater, YOU become public enemy #1.
You may have caused a narcissist injury by doing or saying something. Narcissists have the most fragile ego. You could say or do something that might be minor to you, but devastating to them. Once this happens, they start to head towards discarding you.
You cut their source of supply off. There comes a time when enough is enough, and you slowly but surely start to distance yourself, either emotionally or physically from the narcissist. You can feel it and they can feel it. They’re anticipating you leaving, so what do they do? Plan to leave you first.
They have many supplies waiting in the background. They treat each one like they’re on a Rolodex. Whoever is giving the greatest supply, whoever they can benefit most from is promoted to first in the queue.
They want to put you on “charge.” By this, I mean since that don’t plan to discard you permanently (remember, they never do). They need you to go back to your unawake stage, where you weren’t fully aware of the schemes. They’ll put you away to recharge your supply, so when they come back you’re yearning for them again. To them, it means you’ve recharged your supply ready for them to suck you dry again.
That is why there is no closure. So you can become new again. So you start wanting them back, and once they do re-enter, you’ll be relieved, feel validated & happily allow it. You’ll also go through the same but worse, because they’ll get border much quicker this time.
The Famous Discard Merry-go-round
Lastly, the narcissist will come back around like nothing ever happened. It’s disrespectful, don’t accept it. Ignore the “memory loss” and sob story.
Block them forever. If you have kids, then indifference is key.
Narcissists hate to lose control, even if the discard you. Crazy, right?! You always have the last say though, as the discard is an illusion.