The Narcissist Will Hoover – The Ball’s In Your Court

The Narcissist WILL hoover – The ball’s in your court though..

Wait for it.. wait for it.. Actually don’t. As much as you could still be seeking a little validation from the narcissist post-discard, don’t hope for a hoover. It’s not worth it. The reason being is that the narcissist isn’t hoovering you to get back together with you. They are either seeking validation from you, looking for a quick ego boost, or looking to destroy you once and for all – it’s all three actually.

The hoover usually happens because their last supply has finally seen the mask slip and has finally had enough. So here the narcissist comes around to pick you off the bench, because it’s your turn to play.. again.

Keep No Contact Going

If after the discard you went no contact, it’s best to keep it that way. The narcissist will look for any way in and they do but ‘testing the waters’ by sending you that “how are you?” text. Ignore it. Don’t fall for the trap. The narcissistic will experience a narcissistic injury by you ignoring them, but it is in your best interest to.

If you do fall for the hoover and give the narcissist another chance, the experience will only be worse the next time around. The more chances you give a narcissist, the more they resent and disrespect you. In their minds they’re thinking, why would you take them back after the way they treated you before?? That doesn’t stop them going ahead with the whole love bombing, devaluing, discarding cycle again though.

Hoovering The Harem

Narcissists never ever forget their supplies. They see them as a harem. A group of supplies that they can use, put back on and take off the shelf as they please. Just know that when they come back around, it’s just your turn again.

The ball is in your court when they hoover. Take yourself off the bench by blocking all access to you. Yes, BLOCK THEM. Let them know that you value your self so much so that you won’t allow them to waltz back in and out of your life. Let them know you are not a revolving door, and they no longer have access to your life.

If You’re Tempted By The Narcissist’s Hoover

If you’re tempted by the narcissist’s hoover, just take a minute and breathe. Before you’re tempted to respond, either remind yourself of what you actually went through with the narcissist. Think about the dangers of not knowing where they have been all the time they disappeared (likely with another supply). Create a playlist on YouTube of videos reminding you of reasons why you shouldn’t go back.

Remember: The Narcissist WILL hoover – The ball’s in your court though. Don’t even acknowledge the hoover. Indifference is the way forward towards healing.

 

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